My Immortal
by Lily in the Water
Summary: After "The Girl In Question". Angel and Spike think about Buffy. And vice versa.


My Immortal  
  
Kind of a therapy fic for me. I was so pissed off the episode "The Girl in Question". I mean Buffy would NEVER pick the immortal over Angel or even Spike. And third of all Angel was a bit out of character. I mean "he told Buffy to kill him through his eyes." Yep sure..........  
  
Anywayz Buffy will be with the Immortal but she'll think about Spike and Angel and what they mean to her.  
  
Anywayz this takes place maybe an hour or two after Angel and Spike told each other they are getting over her.  
  
Pairings- References to Buffy/The Immortal, Buffy/Angel, Buffy/Spike, Angel/Cordelia and maybe a mention or two of Buffy/Riley  
  
Rating- PG13 for slight swearing  
  
This may be a bit crappy but hey I am just expressing feelings of what I thought the characters might have felt.  
  
Joss owns Angel, Buffy, Spike, the Immortal, and the others. Evanescence owns the song "My Immortal".  
  
(+)(+)(+)  
  
((I am so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
Because you present still lingers here  
  
And It wont leave me alone))  
  
Spike at on his bed just thinking of the blond that held his heart. How the hell could she pick the Immortal to spend her life with? I mean he could understand her picking him or Angel but the Immortal. He wished that he could have seen her and vice versa. Maybe she would take him in her small arms and kiss him and tell him how mush she missed him. He scoffed at himself. All the things she told her before he died that was just pity. She didn't mean a damn thing. She would always love Angel. But if she could love Fish-boy just a little bit then she could love him right?  
  
((These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just to much  
  
That time can not erase.))  
  
Angel stared out the window silently. His Buffy and the Immortal. That thought made him cringe on the inside. She said she wanted time to become cookies and so he was patiently waiting. Then he finds out that she was dating an arch nemesis of his. How in the world did that make sense? He thought about all the times they spent together. Graveyard dates, her 17th birthday, when he came back from hell, their second try of being a semi normal couple, the while Faith thing, and the Prom. And he couldn't forget the "Forgotten day". The day that they had everything they ever wanted. There were exactly two women he loved in his unnaturally long life. Buffy and Cordelia. However, he loved Buffy with most of his heart. She was the first one to show him how beautiful this world can be. Cordelia helped him with some of the darkest periods of his life. The period when Buffy was dead and when he lost Connor and when he came back. But Cordelia was dead and Buffy might as well be dead because of the feeling that he had lost her for good, was over whelming. He sighed and said softy a few words that he wished he could say to her without his soul being endangered.  
  
((*I love you Buffy. I love you so much.*))  
  
((When you cried  
  
I wiped away all of your tears  
  
When you screamed  
  
I fought away all of your fears  
  
And I held you hand  
  
Through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me))  
  
Spike stared at the ceiling trying to get some sleep. He wanted to get drunk but he didn't have any in his apartment and he didn't feel like going out and getting any. He kept thinking that Buffy should be here. Whether with him or Angel. Not with the Immortal. She should know better. Relationships with dead guys never seem to work. Well, they could have worked but she didn't really love him. At least not the way he loved her. They still could have been happy though. When he was being controlled by the first she started to show him a side he had never seen before. Worry, compassionate, and love. She showed him what he wanted most. To be loved by her. And for a while it looked like he would finally get what he wanted. Then Angel had to show up with the shiny necklace that had killed him. And then he was brought back as a ghost and now finally he was able to touch and hold things again. He winced at the image of Buffy kissing the Immortal. Loving the Immortal. Making Love with the Immortal. He jumped up and grabbed some clothes. Getting drunk was looking a lot better.  
  
((You used to captivate me by your resonating light  
  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me))  
  
Angel slammed his hand against the window. He had no idea where those lyrics were coming from. Most likely Harmony. He was just sitting there brooding when suddenly those lyrics just started playing. And the lyrics just had to happen to remind of Buffy. Well his dreams were never really pleasant; they only were when she was in them. He felt a tear sting his eye. Damn. It hurt like hell to find out that Buffy was with the Immortal. Now it hurt worst. He never should have left her. That was a huge mistake, and he was regretting it more and more each day. But he knew that what he did was right. So she couldn't get hurt by Angelus or by him. That was really the only reason. SO he could protect her from himself. A lot of good that did. He still knew that Angelus was obsessed with the blond slayer. He was very surprised that when he reawaken with a soul that wasn't in Sunnydale. He still can not figure out why his demon didn't go to Sunnydale. But that didn't matter anyways. Nothing really mattered. Without Buffy his Shanshu seems like a big old box with a big ribbon on it. He would just be human without a life. Why Buffy? Why did you have to pick him over me? He snorted at the thought. She picked fish-boy over him. And Spike. Why should this be different? He sighed and went to his desk and pulled out a carefully hidden picture. It was Buffy a few days before her 17th birthday. She seemed so young and so happy. When she was in the bathroom he kinda of swiped a picture of her. The left edge was bent and there was a small tear near her head. But it was his favorite picture of her. He put his fingers to his lips and then brought his fingers to her lips. Even though she was not his, he would still love her.  
  
((I've tried so hard to tell myself  
  
That you're gone  
  
But though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along))  
  
Buffy sat in the kitchen stating at the beautiful night sky. She guessed you could call it brooding or maybe moping. She knew Spike and Angel had been here tonight. Apparently Andrew has not learned the master art of keeping his mouth shut. She knew as soon as Andrew returned from L.A to pick up Dana that Spike was alive. She was overjoyed that he was alive. But she decided that it would be better if he assumed that she thought he was dead. She moaned when she found out that Angel had ranted about her little cookie analogy. (*A/N- Did anyone else find that amusing? Because I certainly did! lol *) She did love Angel and Spike but it was really confusing when it came to either of them. She knew Spike loved her but she loved him like an older brother. She loved Angel with her heart. But things always got so complicated with him. Things didn't get like that with Steve. Steve was kind and good to her. He loved her and she knew that. But things weren't as exciting as they were with Angel or even Spike. When Angel kissed her, it was like she was in heaven. Her whole body was on fire. He treated her like she was the most prized possession in the world. With Spike it was a bit more animalistic. The survival of the fittest sort of thing. With Steve it was calm. She felt safe in his arms and it was a feeling that she never thought she would feel after Angelus's first appearance. She walked back into her room and laid on the occupied bed. Apparently Steve decided to spend the night. She laid against him and felt his arms wrap around her. His arms weren't like Angel's arms, loving and protecting. They weren't like Spike's arms, loving yet demanding. She sighed and shut her eyes while sending a small prayer to the Gods above.  
  
\\//\\// Please God, please make Angel and Spike find some one new. That would love and protect them, better then I ever could.\\//\\//  
  
(+)(+)(+)  
  
So how did you like? Scale of one to 10. One being the worst.  
  
Anywayz I might make it a small series including the Immortal's thoughts along with Dawn and Andrew. 


End file.
